History Humorist Gifts

"Nothing is funny. We're just having a good laugh."

Mortally Wounded at the Battle of Quebec, General James Wolfe Forgets His Last Words

'I was close to a breakthrough when the grant money ran out.'

"If there were cellphones at the Red Sea."

'Sorry, but we're looking for more diversity.'

'1066 - The Battle of Hastings - Harold gets history's biggest "something in the eye".'

'This is great! I had no idea it was a dinner cruise.'

Queen Elizabeth II

'I'm just going for a walk. What could possibly happen because of that?'

"Wait! Come Back!"

Man invents dispute resolution.

'I have something to tell you, Moses...'

'Okay. We've domesticated the dog, but we're having a little trouble with the cat...'

Wooden ship with large Advertising sails for Seasickness, scurvey, mutiney

Tactless Abe

"Can you stop that crap? The bison are on the move."

'I think we're going to need a compliance officer for these.'

'Today's Math lesson is...hey, who wrote junk on my Math board?'

"It's not that we don't think it's funny, it's just- does it fit in with our act?"

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

'Me invent the wheel!'

'We need to have a shake-up!'

Ancient Man with Computer Club.

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Stone henge swing.

'Er...nice tattoo, Oedipus.'

"Next time, before buying expensive gifts, be sure there's enough money left to rent your own camels."

"Could I get it as an ebook?"

'Kiss me Hardy.'

Go to the Closet.

"They're prototypes. Eventually they'll be touchscreen."

'You idiot! Two is aim, three is fire!'

'If he couldn't tell a lie, how'd he get so far in politics?'

'Looks like Og took up jogging!'

"Hey, we'd fight to the last Spartan if this rain would let up."