Historical Humorist Gifts

The night they invented champagne.

The Invention of Religion: 'Ok, here's how it works...first, you never question anything I tell you...'

The British Hamlet. He says: 'Alas poor Yorick, I knew him ... well, I say knew, more of an acquaintance really. Only met the chap three or four times.'

'It's hard to get good people, and even harder to keep them.'

"Only time will tell whether this merger makes sense or not."

'Honestly, I think I may have cleaned it a little too well.'

"Bottom line? You're still king of about two-thirds of all you survey."

Evolutionary Development of Lawyers.

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

"My first concern is the well-being of my crew."

'I see a unicorn.' 'I see Abraham Lincoln.' 'I see a sock.'

Caveman shoots mammoth with arrow and blames his mate with the spear.

Air boulder.

'Look, I hope this isn't too much of a hassle... but I think I'd prefer a Pyramid now!'

'Hi. I just rowed in from Norway and boy! Are my arms Thor!'

"That's not a manufacturing defect - It's SUPPOSED to have a hole in the middle."

Castle drawbridge opens to reveal a dishwasher

"That's not what I said."

'We've found it Chandler- The forbidden temple!'

'I lost my key to the kingdom.'

'Are you guys still watching the tapestry? Why don't you go outside it's such a nice day!'

"For the last time, it's not stocks, it's a pillory."

'According to my theory, if I rub these two sticks together long enough, I'll get a wheel!'

"I'll be glad when his class moves on from the dark ages to the renaissance."

"We'll be performing the operation using original instruments."

It was ugs discovery...but it would be exploited by others.

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

William Wallace and Gromit

Stone henge swing.

'Romeo and Julient 1990's, hi,Dean...yo,Sharon'

'Tell us about the time you met Charles Darwin, grandad.'

Prince William

'Being a royal court jester hasn't just been all glitz and glamor you know. Oh sure, there's been a lot of laughter on the outside but tehre's been a lot of crying,dysentry,cholera,gout and bubonic plague on the inside.'

"Go away. We're still Jewish."