Modern-day Noah Fan Gifts

"Noah, the unicorns are stirring up trouble again blaming the flood on global warming."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

Shakespeare. Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet. "To be or not to be, that is the question". "We are such stuff …As dreams are made of …" "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would small as sweet." That Shakespeare guy had some neat sound bites.

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

Jester Surgeon

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

Ghostship

"I strongly encourage you Winds to 'roll with it'. I would hate to see you become part of the Gulf Stream... if you know what I mean."

Meryl Streep

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

'Dad. I have a stow-a-way to report!'

'I am beginning my windup now. ... Drum roll, please.'

'I'm building an ark because the polar ice caps are melting.'

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

'Not today,son-not on Fathers' Day!'

Football Delivery

'...all I have to do is pee on cue.'

"When you said you were high up in the the music business..."

"Looks like we're in trouble now...he's got four bars on that thing."

"I don't mind if something's Shakespearean, just as long as it it's not Shakespeare."

'I don't know, son. I suppose the three little kittens and the three little pigs drew straws.'

"Can you wangle me some parental leave?"

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

Bird Messaging

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

'I don't know, son, if Noah was an animal lover. I imagine he started out that way.'

Noah's fridge

"Yeah, right, Noah. Like THAT'S gonna work!"

"Are we there yet?