Modern-day Noah Gifts

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.

Thumbing a Lift.

10 Commandments if God was a Woman...

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

Tarzan mobile phone

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

You Have 1 New Messages

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

Noah's ark is a Hummer.

The Three Wise Women

The Joads of Silicon Valley in Kiwis of Wrath

The Guru has left this location after discovering the secret to happiness is better cell phone reception.

Campground Wi-fi.

'It's great to get back to the simple life,'

"Ahh, nothing like getting back to nature."

All my gifts come from Amazon anyway, so instead of asking Santa, I'm asking Alexa.

"It's all part of the new normal."

David and Goliath(?)

'Can you get them on an e-reader?'

Santa Needs a Brand New Way To Lug His Bag

Santa was perplexed at receiving a carbon-neutral status.

"Santa's started franchising out delivery.'

There is bliss. And then there is pure bliss.

'I hear a still, small voice crying in the wilderness.'

"Hi it's me. I'm on a camel train."

'Shane! Shane! Come back! Shane...You forgot your phone charger!'

Holiday Greetings