Modern Noah Gifts

'Did you get it wet?'

Noah's ark is a Hummer.

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"C'mon, time to get up and stare at your devices all day."

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.

Thumbing a Lift.

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

Tarzan mobile phone

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

'I'm too tired to listen to a story tonight, mom. Just e-mail something and I'll read it tomorrow.'

The Joads of Silicon Valley in Kiwis of Wrath

The Three Wise Women

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my payers now!"

The Guru has left this location after discovering the secret to happiness is better cell phone reception.

Campground Wi-fi.

All my gifts come from Amazon anyway, so instead of asking Santa, I'm asking Alexa.

'It's great to get back to the simple life,'

"Ahh, nothing like getting back to nature."

"For the last time, there is no virus under your bed."

"It's all part of the new normal."

David and Goliath(?)

"Oh look - a Bauhaus Bird Box."

"Hi it's me. I'm on a camel train."

'I hear a still, small voice crying in the wilderness.'

'There were bound to be some objectors.'

Santa Needs a Brand New Way To Lug His Bag