Modern Noah T-Shirts

'Did you get it wet?'

Noah's ark is a Hummer.

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"C'mon, time to get up and stare at your devices all day."

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.

Thumbing a Lift.

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

'I'm too tired to listen to a story tonight, mom. Just e-mail something and I'll read it tomorrow.'

The Joads of Silicon Valley in Kiwis of Wrath

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my payers now!"

The Three Wise Women

The Guru has left this location after discovering the secret to happiness is better cell phone reception.

All my gifts come from Amazon anyway, so instead of asking Santa, I'm asking Alexa.

"For the last time, there is no virus under your bed."

"Ahh, nothing like getting back to nature."

'It's great to get back to the simple life,'

Campground Wi-fi.

David and Goliath(?)

"Oh look - a Bauhaus Bird Box."

'There were bound to be some objectors.'

"Hi it's me. I'm on a camel train."

'Shane! Shane! Come back! Shane...You forgot your phone charger!'

'I hear a still, small voice crying in the wilderness.'

There is bliss. And then there is pure bliss.