Modern-day Noah Fan T-Shirts

"Noah, the unicorns are stirring up trouble again blaming the flood on global warming."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

Jester Surgeon

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

Ghostship

"I strongly encourage you Winds to 'roll with it'. I would hate to see you become part of the Gulf Stream... if you know what I mean."

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

'Dad. I have a stow-a-way to report!'

'I am beginning my windup now. ... Drum roll, please.'

'I'm building an ark because the polar ice caps are melting.'

Football Delivery

'...all I have to do is pee on cue.'

'Not today,son-not on Fathers' Day!'

"Looks like we're in trouble now...he's got four bars on that thing."

"I don't mind if something's Shakespearean, just as long as it it's not Shakespeare."

'I don't know, son. I suppose the three little kittens and the three little pigs drew straws.'

"Can you wangle me some parental leave?"

"Are we there yet?

Noah's fridge

'I don't know, son, if Noah was an animal lover. I imagine he started out that way.'

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

Bird Messaging

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

The day after Father's Day.