Modern David Gifts

David and Goliath(?)

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere

"Dammit Harold, you know I hate that mask!"

"How sweet, you texted me. . . I love you too!"

"C'mon, time to get up and stare at your devices all day."

The ten ammendments

"I have an app for that."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

'He may be the Messiah, but he's no Springsteen.'

"Sometime I find it hard to believe that we found each other through regular channels."

"Somebody in Boise needs my help. Run a credit check."

Friday night was always sext night.

'You'll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can't be with someone who's standards are that low!'

'Dream-dates don't normally go for nightmares.'

No, Hal, I don't have a picture of you in my wallet, but much better than that...you're my screen-saver at work!

'Here, Santa. My wish list wouldn't fit on paper, so take this flash drive.'

Modern Charm

Free WiFi

Pope Francis

"I'll take anything that connects to the internet."

'I'm too tired to listen to a story tonight, mom. Just e-mail something and I'll read it tomorrow.'

Noah's ark is a Hummer.

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my payers now!"

'Our new neighbor an urban farmer.'

'Sylvia, what do you say we take the big step and see if we could really stand one another offline...?'

"He's standing upright and using a mobile phone. I think our evolution has begun."

A man outside of gents toilet sees sign: New Men - With Baby changing facilities.

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."