Modern Kid Gifts

"C'mon, time to get up and stare at your devices all day."

'I'm too tired to listen to a story tonight, mom. Just e-mail something and I'll read it tomorrow.'

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

"For the last time, there is no virus under your bed."

"I don't need to go trick or treat. I just ordered a bunch of candy on the internet."

"Does it have a keypad?"

Santa delivers Apps

"FYI. . . it's 3 o'clock, not episode 3."

"Don't bother reading the letters. I'll save you the time. They all want the same thing, the new iPhone."

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy.' You in?"

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

Tamagotchi paralysis.

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

"He just said his first word!"

Feeding of a giraffe with the use of a balloon.

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

'All good things must come to an end.'

"He's my school project for science class."

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

"I'm asking you to write your name on the board. Surely you don't need your smart phone to help you spell your name!"

"This is NOT what I meant when I said you kids could have more screen time."