Modern Youth Gifts

'What kind of internet-start-up camp are you going to this summer?'

'Sorry, I only do traditional handshakes.'

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

Crap from the future.

Text Culture

Hoodie Hang-out

Weird things I do because of the internet

"Did you get my tweet?"

"I can't find my other boot. I need to be rebooted."

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

The Modern Novel.

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

Musical notes bubble gum.

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

"Freshly ground pepper?"

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

Tunnel of TV

The Mating Call of the Modern Youth

"Nice haircut."