Modern Youth Pillows

'What kind of internet-start-up camp are you going to this summer?'

'Sorry, I only do traditional handshakes.'

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

Crap from the future.

Text Culture

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"I can't find my other boot. I need to be rebooted."

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

Weird things I do because of the internet

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

Hoodie Hang-out

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Did you get my tweet?"

Musical notes bubble gum.

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

'This is suppose to be progress.'

"Nice haircut."

Tunnel of TV

The Mating Call of the Modern Youth

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...