Modern Age Kids Pillows

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

"He just said his first word!"

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

"C'mon, time to get up and stare at your devices all day."

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

Typical bored kid of the New Millennium

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

"This is NOT what I meant when I said you kids could have more screen time."

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

"Its's a beautiful day. Why don't you play outside?"

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

"Coming soon...what I did over summer vacation...the podcast!"

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

"When we grow up we can eat snacks BEFORE dinner and call them hors d'oeuvres!"

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?..."

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

"Santa said to stop making toys. From here on out we'll be making computers and phones. Does anyone know anything about technology?"

Childhood Screen Addict

'Sending someone to his room was a punishment when I was a kid.'

Phone Mittens

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."