Modern Child Pillows

Santa tries talking to kids with screen addictions.

'Here, Santa. My wish list wouldn't fit on paper, so take this flash drive.'

"I'll take anything that connects to the internet."

Digital Childhoods

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

"He just said his first word!"

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

"C'mon, time to get up and stare at your devices all day."

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

Typical bored kid of the New Millennium

"I'm asking you to write your name on the board. Surely you don't need your smart phone to help you spell your name!"

The modern generation!

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

Smartphone Sonogram

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

"Its's a beautiful day. Why don't you play outside?"

I'm doing my essay on John Milton's "Paradise Lost"...the video game.