Modern Child Gifts

Santa tries talking to kids with screen addictions.

'Here, Santa. My wish list wouldn't fit on paper, so take this flash drive.'

"I'll take anything that connects to the internet."

Digital Childhoods

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"He just said his first word!"

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

"C'mon, time to get up and stare at your devices all day."

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

Smartphone Sonogram

"This is NOT what I meant when I said you kids could have more screen time."

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

Typical bored kid of the New Millennium

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"I'm asking you to write your name on the board. Surely you don't need your smart phone to help you spell your name!"

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

The modern generation!

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."