Modern Kids Gifts

The wrist bon's connected to the hand bone, the hand bone's connected to the finger bone, and the finger bone's connected to the cell phone.

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my payers now!"

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"He just said his first word!"

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

"C'mon, time to get up and stare at your devices all day."

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

The modern generation!

"I'm asking you to write your name on the board. Surely you don't need your smart phone to help you spell your name!"

"This is NOT what I meant when I said you kids could have more screen time."

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

Smartphone Sonogram

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

I'm doing my essay on John Milton's "Paradise Lost"...the video game.