Modern Childhood Enthusiast Pillows

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

Typical bored kid of the New Millennium

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

"Its's a beautiful day. Why don't you play outside?"

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

Mid-century Father

"Every time I tie my shoes, the laces come undone...I think it's a conspiracy!"

"Coming soon...what I did over summer vacation...the podcast!"

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

'Your imagination was so powerful he became real. It happens to me all the time.'

"She wants to know if comes with a broadband package."

Childhood Screen Addict

"Good grief, Bradbury! How long have you been working at home?"

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

The News in Capsule Form.

"I'll take anything that connects to the internet."

Knight of the sandcastle.

Jack Kerouac

'Until I met your Mom, yes.'

Garden of Earthly Delights

'Here, Santa. My wish list wouldn't fit on paper, so take this flash drive.'

"Our Trash Dash order is on its way."