Modern Millennials Gifts

People ride an escalator to the gym.

Wifi in Hell

Politically Correct Snowperson

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Fur Baby

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"Dude, Amazon is so popular they named a river after it."

Woke Jersey Shore

"Yeah, I want a neck tat with gothic lettering that says, 'Welcome to a career in the fast food service industry.'"

Young MacDonald

"I moved to the Internet to be closer to my children."

"Avocado...t-toast..."

Child uses tablet to mark geographical location of donkey's tale.

"Having bitten the apple I think we should cover our phones with fig-leaves."

"Things were really different when I was growing up. Childhoods today are much longer."

Man bun tending

Captain Millennial

"I think we have mice in the walls."

Millennial

"No, no, no! You're, like, 'I really, really, really love you,' and you're, like, 'Whatever.' "

"I just saw a hipster age perceptibly."

"At least he's being buried with the one he loved most."

"So remember son, if you study hard and keep focused in your job you too can probably not quite reach the same standard of living as your dad."

"Emotional support person or not, you cannot bring your Mom to work."

Metamorphosis: Nature's Magnificent Reveal

Crybaby Millennials

Disloyal

Sitting Desk, Standing Desk, Leaning Desk, Sleeping Desk.

"If the average attention span is 8 seconds, why are most commercials 30 seconds?"

"And though he was but one, young Zach could fearlessly cancel with the strength of many."

Dumpster Chic....Hipster Chic.

"Excuse me, but I happen to identify as a left-handed person and this is a right-handed mug."

Rosemary's Baby Turns Twenty-Seven