Modern Millennials T-Shirts

People ride an escalator to the gym.

Politically Correct Snowperson

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Fur Baby

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

Woke Jersey Shore

"Yeah, I want a neck tat with gothic lettering that says, 'Welcome to a career in the fast food service industry.'"

Young MacDonald

"Having bitten the apple I think we should cover our phones with fig-leaves."

"Avocado...t-toast..."

Child uses tablet to mark geographical location of donkey's tale.

"I moved to the Internet to be closer to my children."

"Things were really different when I was growing up. Childhoods today are much longer."

Man bun tending

Captain Millennial

"I think we have mice in the walls."

"I just saw a hipster age perceptibly."

"So remember son, if you study hard and keep focused in your job you too can probably not quite reach the same standard of living as your dad."

"At least he's being buried with the one he loved most."

"No, no, no! You're, like, 'I really, really, really love you,' and you're, like, 'Whatever.' "

Millennial

"Emotional support person or not, you cannot bring your Mom to work."

Metamorphosis: Nature's Magnificent Reveal

Sitting Desk, Standing Desk, Leaning Desk, Sleeping Desk.

Crybaby Millennials

"If the average attention span is 8 seconds, why are most commercials 30 seconds?"

Rosemary's Baby Turns Twenty-Seven

"And though he was but one, young Zach could fearlessly cancel with the strength of many."

Dumpster Chic....Hipster Chic.

"I literally don't even remember what we do here."