Trendy Millennial Gifts

Sitting Desk, Standing Desk, Leaning Desk, Sleeping Desk.

Politically Correct Snowperson

Wifi in Hell

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Musical notes bubble gum.

Pop Culture for Teens

Fur Baby

'Can I have mine with the peak at the front '

"I'm two weeks away from my Pilates badge."

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"I'm both too liberal to be preppy and too conservative to be trendy."

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

Little Red Riding Hoodie

"Dude, Amazon is so popular they named a river after it."

Woke Jersey Shore

"Yeah, I want a neck tat with gothic lettering that says, 'Welcome to a career in the fast food service industry.'"

Young MacDonald

"Avocado...t-toast..."

Sally and her fashionista friends get to me. Save our mall! Ignore them! Let's take your mind off them. Don't even think it! I know. Going shopping would be wring. Does ordering online count.

"Does the phone in my back pocket make my butt look too big?"

"I moved to the Internet to be closer to my children."

"And I'll have my usual - 'Mutton dressed as lamb'!"

"Things were really different when I was growing up. Childhoods today are much longer."

Millennial Pain Assessment

'I don't care. You're not going over to the dark side and that's final.'

Man bun tending

Captain Millennial

"I think we have mice in the walls."

What should I wear to the eco club dance? Something recycled. Yeah, but it has to be hot. W. Fester Thrift Shop. Who're you trying to catch? Sigh! Ryan Beardsley. Dressing reports. You can definitely catch a cold.

'I thought I gave you money to get your hair cut?'

"At least he's being buried with the one he loved most."

Pug 4 Life: 'It's a Dog Thing ... you wouldn't understand.'

Obnox.com.

Millennial