Millennial Gifts

"I moved to the Internet to be closer to my children."

Rosemary's Baby Turns Twenty-Seven

"Excuse me, but I happen to identify as a left-handed person and this is a right-handed mug."

Politically Correct Snowperson

Wifi in Hell

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Fur Baby

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"Yeah, I want a neck tat with gothic lettering that says, 'Welcome to a career in the fast food service industry.'"

It's a Millennial Generation Life off!

Young MacDonald

Voting on their Seats

"Son, you don't need social media to make you feel inadequate and depressed - you've got your parents."

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"Things were really different when I was growing up. Childhoods today are much longer."

"Ha! This younger is so absorbed in social media that he cannot appreciate his youth, unlike I, aging millennial, who cannot appreciate his thirties."

Captain Millennial

Man bun tending

“Mom, can you come get me?”

"I think we have mice in the walls."

Millennial

"I just saw a hipster age perceptibly."

Hipster Charm Offensive

"At least he's being buried with the one he loved most."

"No, no, no! You're, like, 'I really, really, really love you,' and you're, like, 'Whatever.' "

"Emotional support person or not, you cannot bring your Mom to work."

Sitting Desk, Standing Desk, Leaning Desk, Sleeping Desk.

Crybaby Millennials

"But...I didn't even get my participation trophy! It's not fair!"

Metamorphosis: Nature's Magnificent Reveal

"If the average attention span is 8 seconds, why are most commercials 30 seconds?"

"Fabric softener, chain restaurants, divorce—you millennials are killing everything. I'm impressed."

"And though he was but one, young Zach could fearlessly cancel with the strength of many."