Millennial Children Gifts

"I think we have mice in the walls."

Politically Correct Snowperson

Wifi in Hell

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Fur Baby

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"Yeah, I want a neck tat with gothic lettering that says, 'Welcome to a career in the fast food service industry.'"

It's a Millennial Generation Life off!

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"I moved to the Internet to be closer to my children."

"It's a cease and desist letter forbidding us from saying 'That's lit!'"

"Son, you don't need social media to make you feel inadequate and depressed - you've got your parents."

Child uses tablet to mark geographical location of donkey's tale.

"Things were really different when I was growing up. Childhoods today are much longer."

Man bun tending

“Mom, can you come get me?”

"Ha! This younger is so absorbed in social media that he cannot appreciate his youth, unlike I, aging millennial, who cannot appreciate his thirties."

Captain Millennial

Hipster Charm Offensive

"I just saw a hipster age perceptibly."

"No, no, no! You're, like, 'I really, really, really love you,' and you're, like, 'Whatever.' "

Millennial

"Emotional support person or not, you cannot bring your Mom to work."

Crybaby Millennials

Metamorphosis: Nature's Magnificent Reveal

"But...I didn't even get my participation trophy! It's not fair!"

Sitting Desk, Standing Desk, Leaning Desk, Sleeping Desk.

"If the average attention span is 8 seconds, why are most commercials 30 seconds?"

"You just destroyed your safe space."

Dumpster Chic....Hipster Chic.

"Excuse me, but I happen to identify as a left-handed person and this is a right-handed mug."

Rosemary's Baby Turns Twenty-Seven

"And though he was but one, young Zach could fearlessly cancel with the strength of many."