Millennial Son Gifts

“Mom, can you come get me?”

Wifi in Hell

Politically Correct Snowperson

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Fur Baby

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"Have you considered vlogging?"

It's a Millennial Generation Life off!

"Yeah, I want a neck tat with gothic lettering that says, 'Welcome to a career in the fast food service industry.'"

"I moved to the Internet to be closer to my children."

Child uses tablet to mark geographical location of donkey's tale.

"Son, you don't need social media to make you feel inadequate and depressed - you've got your parents."

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"It's a cease and desist letter forbidding us from saying 'That's lit!'"

"Things were really different when I was growing up. Childhoods today are much longer."

Man bun tending

"Ha! This younger is so absorbed in social media that he cannot appreciate his youth, unlike I, aging millennial, who cannot appreciate his thirties."

Fables for the Millennial.

Captain Millennial

"I think we have mice in the walls."

"Hurry, son! The economy is almost at full employment! Better get a job before they're all gone!"

Hipster Charm Offensive

Millennial

"I just saw a hipster age perceptibly."

"No, no, no! You're, like, 'I really, really, really love you,' and you're, like, 'Whatever.' "

"Emotional support person or not, you cannot bring your Mom to work."

"But...I didn't even get my participation trophy! It's not fair!"

"Whenever I meet somebody, I try and accept them for who I am."

Crybaby Millennials

Metamorphosis: Nature's Magnificent Reveal

"If the average attention span is 8 seconds, why are most commercials 30 seconds?"

"You just destroyed your safe space."

"Excuse me, but I happen to identify as a left-handed person and this is a right-handed mug."