Modern Myth Millennials Gifts

"Having bitten the apple I think we should cover our phones with fig-leaves."

Wifi in Hell

Politically Correct Snowperson

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Fur Baby

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"Yeah, I want a neck tat with gothic lettering that says, 'Welcome to a career in the fast food service industry.'"

It's a Millennial Generation Life off!

"The season finale of the world is near."

Young MacDonald

"Son, you don't need social media to make you feel inadequate and depressed - you've got your parents."

Voting on their Seats

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"I moved to the Internet to be closer to my children."

"Things were really different when I was growing up. Childhoods today are much longer."

Fables for the Millennial.

Man bun tending

Captain Millennial

"Ha! This younger is so absorbed in social media that he cannot appreciate his youth, unlike I, aging millennial, who cannot appreciate his thirties."

"I think we have mice in the walls."

"Hurry, son! The economy is almost at full employment! Better get a job before they're all gone!"

"Well, go get a job and move out if your allowance doesn't have the purchasing power it did when you were fourteen."

"No, no, no! You're, like, 'I really, really, really love you,' and you're, like, 'Whatever.' "

Hipster Charm Offensive

Millennial

"I'm sorry, Dave. You lost me after the first 140 words."

"I just saw a hipster age perceptibly."

"I told mom I won't answer her calls in case a scammer got her number."

Happy Valentine's Day, Millennial,

"Emotional support person or not, you cannot bring your Mom to work."

"But...I didn't even get my participation trophy! It's not fair!"

"Quick, before the shock wave hits."

Metamorphosis: Nature's Magnificent Reveal