Millennial Musings Gifts

"My life has been totally screwed up for years, but thus far no one has stepped forward to claim responsibility."

"Fabric softener, chain restaurants, divorce—you millennials are killing everything. I'm impressed."

Hipster Charm Offensive

It's a Millennial Generation Life off!

"Ha! This younger is so absorbed in social media that he cannot appreciate his youth, unlike I, aging millennial, who cannot appreciate his thirties."

"But...I didn't even get my participation trophy! It's not fair!"

"Son, you don't need social media to make you feel inadequate and depressed - you've got your parents."

"You just destroyed your safe space."

Wifi in Hell

Politically Correct Snowperson

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Fur Baby

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"We added it just for the millenials."

"Yeah, I want a neck tat with gothic lettering that says, 'Welcome to a career in the fast food service industry.'"

"Having bitten the apple I think we should cover our phones with fig-leaves."

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"I moved to the Internet to be closer to my children."

"Things were really different when I was growing up. Childhoods today are much longer."

Man bun tending

Fables for the Millennial.

Captain Millennial

"I think we have mice in the walls."

"Hurry, son! The economy is almost at full employment! Better get a job before they're all gone!"

"I just saw a hipster age perceptibly."

"I'm sorry, Dave. You lost me after the first 140 words."

Millennial

"No, no, no! You're, like, 'I really, really, really love you,' and you're, like, 'Whatever.' "

"Emotional support person or not, you cannot bring your Mom to work."

Disloyal

Crybaby Millennials

Metamorphosis: Nature's Magnificent Reveal

"If the average attention span is 8 seconds, why are most commercials 30 seconds?"