Modern Cupid Gifts

'You had me at affluent.'

"Right swipe, right swipe, right swipe..."

"This is Stan, my latest project."

"Sometime I find it hard to believe that we found each other through regular channels."

"Thanks, but I'll take my chances with the algorithms."

'Dream-dates don't normally go for nightmares.'

No, Hal, I don't have a picture of you in my wallet, but much better than that...you're my screen-saver at work!

'Sylvia, what do you say we take the big step and see if we could really stand one another offline...?'

Bows and arrows are SOO 20th century.

'If there were only some way to return him to the internet.'

"How sweet, you texted me. . . I love you too!"

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

cuPad

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"Don't talk to me in your 'Hey Siri' voice."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

'I think Benjamin like me. He linked my homepage to his homepage.'

Happy Valentine's Day.

Online Dating for Dummies

'You'll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can't be with someone who's standards are that low!'

Pucker up!

Cupid gives up trying to get cell phone-using couple together.

Hubble Telescope

"I'm sexually attracted to space."

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

"So - we meet at last."

Blind data.

"It's another letter from Mr. Wentworth. He writes, 'You up?' and then there are some pictures of a smiley face and an eggplant."

"I'm internet dating. I'm looking for someone I can morph and tweak."