Modern Traveler Gifts

'This room has a water view if you use your smart phone. There's a video cam on the hotel roof.'

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

Baggage Horse

Hitching Jesus.

'We couldn't find any seashells, so we collected these cellphones instead.'

'What a trip I had - I accidentally got on a drone.'

Free WiFi

'By the Grace of God...Look a sign!'

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

Man on Snowdon with GPS system - "I'd be lost without it."

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

Tourists in Egypt

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Desert Island Statue of Liberty.

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

Birthday Cakes: From Around the World

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

Vaccination Passport

"Listen! They're playing our bong."

Easter Island is still a tourist site after the oceans rise due to global warming.

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

The Decline of Europe

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

Remember, it's about the journey, not the destination. But sure, I'll keep an eye out for a rest area.

"I'm going to patronize India for my gap year, where are you going?"