Modern Art Lovers Gifts

'I like modern. It never goes out of style.'

Artist Painting his Television.

Sidewalk Ballet

Believe or not but before he became a famous artist he was a shoe salesman.

"It's heartbreaking. He blew out his arm training for the season's big modern art exhibit, and he hasn't been able to get anything in the strike zone since then!"

Rodin's The Tweeter

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

"Well....I could've done this!"

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"You're welcome."

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

'Projectile painting.'

Klimt Kiss Phones

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

Cats at private view

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

Lord George brings news of the debate

Jackson Pollock Studio

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

Picasso: The Early Years

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

The Cremaster Cycle

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."