Modern Art Lover Gifts

Salvador Dali - Memorial Park

Modern art: I call it Procrastination.

'It's called 'The Stock Market'.'

Sculpting

The Big Picture

'Brilliant! I love it! I'll give you ?25,000!'

Jackson Pollock as a child

Euro on the exhibition.

'Amazing isn't it? The eyes seem to follow you around the room.'

'So what exactly are you trying to say.'

'I have to disagree. I think the artist is laughing with us.'

'Call the police. Some vandal has wrecked the Tracy Emin installation!'

Art Gallery, "Oh Brad isn't it wonderful that people are still paying fortunes for this sort of junk?"

"It says here that this was his non-productive period."

'It looks messy but it has a certain cachet.'

"Hmm. I still feel like something's missing."

Two kids caught playing dots & boxes on a Damien Hirst painting, spelling the word 'so-so'.

'I suppose that nowadays anything can be considered art.'

A man walks into a modern art museum, where a painting matches his shirt.

"I would describe my work as postindustrial, postmodern, postconstructivism."

Eye test art

'Bear in mind that during my art training, I was heavily influenced by Picasso.'

The Persistence of Memory 2020

Museum Guard Portrait

"I know more about art than you do, so I'll tell you what to like."

"You must be Mrs. Picasso. I recognize you from Pablo's drawings."

'And this is the picture the great man painted.'

DUBUFFET THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

"I like his style. He makes it look like an accident."

The Museum Of Grant-Free Art

"Twenty dollars? Who does it-Christo?"

"That's not one of the candidates - they're sandbags in case of flooding."

'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.'

Trapped in a painting

Selling aspirin outside a Bridget Riley exhibition.