Modern Art Enthusiasts Gifts

"Bad art! Bad!"

"I love his work, it's off the wall!"

"'3' is genius. We need to buy '3'."

"No, that looks nothing like him. Were you even listening to me? Young man, are you on drugs?"

Breakfast surreal.

'I hope you don't mind -- I pick up a few extra bucks from the webcam.'

'Why are you flicking paint on the floor...'

'A frore basenji was mistaken for a stabile.'

"I have an art app, because I just hate the messiness of finger painting and glitter."

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

The Artist

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

"Well....I could've done this!"

'It's a Joan Biro.'

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Klimt Kiss Phones

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

'Projectile painting.'

"You're welcome."

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

Picasso: The Early Years

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Cats at private view

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

Jackson Pollock Studio

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'