Modern Art Admirers Gifts

"An exquisite diatribe against the conflagration of an urban elite."

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

The Artist

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

"Well....I could've done this!"

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'Projectile painting.'

"You're welcome."

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

Klimt Kiss Phones

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

Jackson Pollock Studio

Cats at private view

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

Picasso: The Early Years

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

Art Gallery.

The Cremaster Cycle

'Wait, this isn't Monet's garden, it's Mondrian's.'

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

'What do you suppose he's trying to say?'