Modern Art Lovers T-Shirts

Artist Painting his Television.

Sidewalk Ballet

Believe or not but before he became a famous artist he was a shoe salesman.

"It's heartbreaking. He blew out his arm training for the season's big modern art exhibit, and he hasn't been able to get anything in the strike zone since then!"

Rodin's The Tweeter

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

"Well....I could've done this!"

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"You're welcome."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'Projectile painting.'

Klimt Kiss Phones

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

Cats at private view

Picasso: The Early Years

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

Jackson Pollock Studio

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

Lord George brings news of the debate

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

Art Gallery.

The Cremaster Cycle

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."