Modern Art Collector Gifts

"I keep thinking I'm one of Picasso's models."

"My gallery can't afford sexism scandals, that's why I can keep your painting only if the lady wears lingerie."

Blanksy - Eraser Art Exhibition

Great Chinese Dynasties

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Children's artwork exhibition.

"Well....I could've done this!"

Use your imagination.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Wagging Dog

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

Madame Rejane- Famous French Actress in the Part of Madame Sans Gene

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

Jackson Pollock Studio

Giant Monster in Bath

"Got any bathtub gin?"

"Now this I get."

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.