Modern Art Collector T-Shirts

"I keep thinking I'm one of Picasso's models."

"My gallery can't afford sexism scandals, that's why I can keep your painting only if the lady wears lingerie."

Blanksy - Eraser Art Exhibition

Great Chinese Dynasties

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"Well....I could've done this!"

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Use your imagination.

Children's artwork exhibition.

'It's a Joan Biro.'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Wagging Dog

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

Madame Rejane- Famous French Actress in the Part of Madame Sans Gene

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

Giant Monster in Bath

Jackson Pollock Studio

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

"Now this I get."

"Got any bathtub gin?"

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.