Art Collector T-Shirts

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

Picasso Jigsaw: There may be more than one solution.

"We have to move out – I just sold a painting."

'Brilliant! I love it! I'll give you ?25,000!'

'I know art can be a good investment, but it's important to love what you collect.'

"It's one of those pieces you pay $142.4 million for at auction and then never look at again."

'This painting was purchased on a whim by our ex-curator of drawings and paintings.'

"I spent $1,000 on this great painting. And I spent $2,000 on college courses to know why it is great!"

'Oh, honey! Wouldn't that piece look just wonderful above the fireplace?'

Monet in the '90s.

'I'm tired of the Van Gough. Let's donate it to charity.'

Trendy man says to wife: 'I don't know much about art but I know what to pretend I like.'

On some of the paintings my right brain says they're good art, but my left brain says they're bad investments. On others, my right brain says they're bad art, but my left brain says they're good investments.

'It's an organic still life.'

"This is one of the artist's unstarted works."

"I'll take that one."

'...Mom said i can have it!' 'No way! She promised I get the painting!'

"How much more would this be worth if something happened to you?"

'This is one of his very early pieces.'

"You can say what you like about his work but it sells."

"No sir. That isn't the artist's telephone number. That's the price tag"

Painting of Hamburger. "This one's by Jack Owens, a starving artist from Ohio."

"Well, this initial test suggests that the authenticity of your Rembrandt may be questionable."

"I like his style. He makes it look like an accident."

'Is it a real Lichtenstein, Brad - or yet another parody?'

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

'On some my right brain says they're good art but my left brain says they're bad investments. On others, my right brain says they're bad art but my left brain says they're good investments.'

I love it! But is it art?

'It's like a piece of music, like Mozart or Beethoven.'

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"My art dealer assured me people will think it's worth a lot mo is."re than it

"I knew the artist when he was just deluding himself."

'Now, what am I bid for this original Ough?'

'I only buy art that I can understand.'

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'