Art Collector Gifts

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

Picasso Jigsaw: There may be more than one solution.

"We have to move out – I just sold a painting."

'Brilliant! I love it! I'll give you ?25,000!'

'I know art can be a good investment, but it's important to love what you collect.'

'This painting was purchased on a whim by our ex-curator of drawings and paintings.'

"It's one of those pieces you pay $142.4 million for at auction and then never look at again."

"I spent $1,000 on this great painting. And I spent $2,000 on college courses to know why it is great!"

'Oh, honey! Wouldn't that piece look just wonderful above the fireplace?'

'...Mom said i can have it!' 'No way! She promised I get the painting!'

Trendy man says to wife: 'I don't know much about art but I know what to pretend I like.'

'I'm tired of the Van Gough. Let's donate it to charity.'

Monet in the '90s.

'It's an organic still life.'

On some of the paintings my right brain says they're good art, but my left brain says they're bad investments. On others, my right brain says they're bad art, but my left brain says they're good investments.

"This is one of the artist's unstarted works."

"I'll take that one."

"I like his style. He makes it look like an accident."

"Well, this initial test suggests that the authenticity of your Rembrandt may be questionable."

Gallery Guide

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"No sir. That isn't the artist's telephone number. That's the price tag"

'This has been a test of the museum's emergency broadcasting system. Had this been a real emergency, you would have been asked to make a donation.'

Portrait sweating above a fireplace

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

If I own the artist, I own his art as well!

'Where would you like your Banksy, love?'

'This has been a test of the museum's emergency broadcasting system. Had this been a real emergency, you would have been asked to make a donation.'

'You can tell it's good by the way the tonsils follow you around the room.'

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

'I'll take it.'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'Now, what am I bid for this original Ough?'

'I only buy art that I can understand.'

"How much more would this be worth if something happened to you?"