Artistic Collector Gifts

Norman Boring was very proud of his operation scar

Great Chinese Dynasties

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Use your imagination.

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Wagging Dog

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Art Gallery.

"He's an abstract artist."

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

"Caricatures $20"

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

"I read 'Art News.'"

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

"What's most exciting about NFTs is the opportunity for dynamic new content."

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

'It's like a piece of music, like Mozart or Beethoven.'

A skinny dog drawn with zen brush.

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."

"Gotta go, lads, I smell death."