Collector Of Unique Art Gifts

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

Great Chinese Dynasties

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

Use your imagination.

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Wagging Dog

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Evolution Interrupted By Man Fishing

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

When cartoonists drink too much coffee.

"Caricatures $20"

"He's an abstract artist."

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

Art Gallery.

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

"What's most exciting about NFTs is the opportunity for dynamic new content."

"I read 'Art News.'"

Tommy, Math quiz. It's one of his earliest pieces.

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

'It's like a piece of music, like Mozart or Beethoven.'