Unique Art Collector Gifts

Bowel Sweet Bowel.

"Gotta go, lads, I smell death."

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

Great Chinese Dynasties

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

Romantic Giraffes

(Camel paintings)

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

Use your imagination.

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"We're odd looking but just as good."

Wagging Dog

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"He's an abstract artist."

Dog admiring hairless dog calendar

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

Art Gallery.

A Tumble Cow

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

"Caricatures $20"

When cartoonists drink too much coffee.

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"I'm sick of the same old thing. How about frosting and sprinkles?"

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

'I think we should cut back on the tranquilizers.'

Mouse returns home from work.