Modern Collector Gifts

Dear Mr Rembrandt, thanks for the link to the server where the data of your painting is located. I have transferred the 45.000 euros. Trading on NFT platforms is not as dubious as some old-fashioned folks say.

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Use your imagination.

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

The original paperless office

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

Wagging Dog

Early Colour TV

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

'ANOTHER Shakespeare play?!! Look, all we wanted was the user manual for a sandwich maker.'

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

Pre-Television Man Caves

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Art Gallery.

"He's an abstract artist."

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

JET (Part I)

Gadzook used armour. Only one careful owner.

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"