Mistaken Identity Lover Pillows

'No. I thought it was the marathon, but it's just a fast moving queue.'

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

"I'm Rapunzel. You want Juliet – next tower over."

"Are you feeling okay, Dennis? Your obituary is in the paper."

"There's corporate me and there's me, and, by God, we both know how to have fun."

Which One is Pulling Out?

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

". . . But, hey, man, I just want to say this in all sincerity, man, that you are the greatest, man, you the el numero uno cat in my book, man you. . ."

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

Secret Identity Theft.

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"

"Sorry, I don't work here."

The Mr. Bates we know and love isn't in but you may speak with his doppelganger.

'Hang on a minute - you're not my husband!'

"I'll tell you my gender if you tell me yours."

'... and then Peter was Mr. McGregor...'

'Didn't I read your last book, find it absolutely disgusting and vow never to read another, or was that someone else?'

"Which one of us is me?"

'What a coincedence! I actually have an identical twin brother who has the same name as you.' - 'No kidding? I have one who has the same name as you!'

"It was a simple case of mistaken identity. Nobody's fault – I always carry more than one set of ID."

Frankenstein "Damn it! Not another ethic origin questionaire"

To: Rudy Park. From: Lemont Brown. Hey Rudy, it's me. Long time no talk. How are you these days? Lemont? From Berkeley? Tap tap tap tap. Yeah. Man … Putnam Hall 1993. Those were the days. What ever happened to our roommate Ken? Tap tap tap tap tap tap. Divided Airlines. Divided Airlines. You know, that freak who was always writing articles about "news" and junk for the school paper ... That MORON who didn't know a Gameboy from a GameGear ... That big baby whose mommy was always calling to check

Millennial

I Was Married to Banksy.

Name

Valerie thrived in an internet community that had no idea she was a chicken...

'I love how you're not like everyone else. Oh, sorry, I thought you were my wife.'

'I'm not a hawk or a dove. I'm a dog!'

"I was born a doughboy but I identify as a crescent roll."

Man mistakes portable table for a church confessional.

'I know I don't seem very interesting, but this is just my secret identity.'

"Does this count as photo I.D.?"

'He's really into comic books.'