Mistaken Identity Aficionado Pillows

"Sorry, I don't work here."

"En guard!!"

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

"I'm Rapunzel. You want Juliet – next tower over."

A Transformer for grownups

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

"Are you feeling okay, Dennis? Your obituary is in the paper."

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

"Take it. It's the dress code."

". . . But, hey, man, I just want to say this in all sincerity, man, that you are the greatest, man, you the el numero uno cat in my book, man you. . ."

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

'Hang on a minute - you're not my husband!'

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"

'I'm tired of politicians ignoring me -- I want to have my name legally changed to 'Joe Six-Pack.''

181 yeard old, huh? This is the worst fake I.D. I've ever seen. And that beard! Ha! Nice try, Mr.... Uhh... 'Van Winkle.'

"Tell me this is just your mid-life crisis."

'We transformed our lives for the better.'

'Didn't I read your last book, find it absolutely disgusting and vow never to read another, or was that someone else?'

'... and then Peter was Mr. McGregor...'

"Which one of us is me?"

Frankenstein "Damn it! Not another ethic origin questionaire"

"I'm trying to decide between a cocktail with a cute name and one that's blatantly sexual."

I Was Married to Banksy.

Millennial

'If Larry didn't stay in touch with his imaginary childhood friends, he wouldn't have any clients at all.'

Name

Valerie thrived in an internet community that had no idea she was a chicken...

'I love how you're not like everyone else. Oh, sorry, I thought you were my wife.'

'I'm not a hawk or a dove. I'm a dog!'

"Does this count as photo I.D.?"