Mistaken Identity Fan Pillows

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

'If I had a nickel for every time I was mistaken for him, I wouldn't have to work. Now, hand over all of your AA batteries.'

He looks so natural lying there...

"Play 'Misty' for me."

"I'm Rapunzel. You want Juliet – next tower over."

Trump Mask

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"Do you have a shoe for roaming and prowling?"

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

Dog detectives

"Sure. I know of a haystack on the edge of town where you'll be safe until the heat dies down."

"Another clear case of COVID19."

'He's been shot!'

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

'Of course, it's your business, but I wouldn't ever start a resume with 'Once upon a time in a land far far away!''

Police are searching for a male between 16 and 25 years, with a silky sheer taupe complexion and a run over his left eye.

". . . But, hey, man, I just want to say this in all sincerity, man, that you are the greatest, man, you the el numero uno cat in my book, man you. . ."

'The paintings are neolithic, I suspect the Mustaches wee added by a later people.'

Recollections of a Retired Butler

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'

"He might have fallen but these tire marks suggest something completely different"

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 1

Nobody new the identity of the mad bandager

Mr. Hyde writing the unauthorized autobiography of Dr. Jekyll

'Mystery egg.'

'How did I find you? Let's just say a little bird told me.'

'Hang on a minute - you're not my husband!'

The Three Wise Women

"For the last time, he didn't steal your identity. He's your twin!"

"Sorry, I don't work here."

"You want something retrieved? You've come to the right place!"

Johnnie Ponderous - Part Three

'So Mr. Smith. . . how exactly are you 'uniquely talented' in the field of shoplifting prevention?'

I heard you're on your way to Europe to secure a source of black market hepatitis C drugs. What? What are you talking about? I deny everything. Where did you hear that? You added an airplane pillow, the "German For Dummies," the book "Hep C and You," and "Smugglerco Duffel Bag w/Secret Compartment" to your Amazon wishlist. I ordered you the book "Not Everyone Is Cut Out For A Life Of Crime." I deny everything.