Mistaken Identity Enthusiast Pillows

Man mistakes portable table for a church confessional.

'When you said you'd introduce me to a real 'Amazon woman'...'

'... and then Peter was Mr. McGregor...'

'You were right - it WASN'T a cat with a racing stripe.'

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

"I'm Rapunzel. You want Juliet – next tower over."

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

"There's corporate me and there's me, and, by God, we both know how to have fun."

"Are you feeling okay, Dennis? Your obituary is in the paper."

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

". . . But, hey, man, I just want to say this in all sincerity, man, that you are the greatest, man, you the el numero uno cat in my book, man you. . ."

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

'Hang on a minute - you're not my husband!'

"It's cooties."

181 yeard old, huh? This is the worst fake I.D. I've ever seen. And that beard! Ha! Nice try, Mr.... Uhh... 'Van Winkle.'

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"

"Sorry, I don't work here."

'He needs a domain name.'

'Didn't I read your last book, find it absolutely disgusting and vow never to read another, or was that someone else?'

"Which one of us is me?"

Frankenstein "Damn it! Not another ethic origin questionaire"

'You haven't much experience in plant conservation, have you Winthorpe?'

Millennial

I Was Married to Banksy.

Big deal - give her the one from that screwball who came in last week.

Name

"Elves, Jerry, I asked for elves."

Valerie thrived in an internet community that had no idea she was a chicken...

'I'm not a hawk or a dove. I'm a dog!'

'I love how you're not like everyone else. Oh, sorry, I thought you were my wife.'