Identity Swap Lover Pillows

"It was a simple case of mistaken identity. Nobody's fault – I always carry more than one set of ID."

The American Tearoom, Moscow

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

"A guy in 'recovery' wants to buy your slippers."

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

'Damn, I've forgotten my real name.'

'I'm coping.'

The Mr. Bates we know and love isn't in but you may speak with his doppelganger.

'Sure, I can reprogram your microchip if you want to change your identity...'

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"

"Actually those missing four yeas I was working here under a different name."

'He needs a domain name.'

"Which one of us is me?"

'How would you have played that last ball?'

'What a coincedence! I actually have an identical twin brother who has the same name as you.' - 'No kidding? I have one who has the same name as you!'

Frankenstein "Damn it! Not another ethic origin questionaire"

Millennial

"My real name's Killer. Fluffy is just my pen name."

I Was Married to Banksy.

Name

Valerie thrived in an internet community that had no idea she was a chicken...

'I love how you're not like everyone else. Oh, sorry, I thought you were my wife.'

'I'm not a hawk or a dove. I'm a dog!'

'Yes, I sold my soul...but what could I do? They held all the papers!'

'If you steal my identity, you'll be stuck with a lot of credit card debt.'

'Higgins??! My gosh, someone has stolen your identity!!

Identity theft lineup.