Identity Swapping Fantasizer Pillows

'If you steal my identity, you'll be stuck with a lot of credit card debt.'

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

"I'm Rapunzel. You want Juliet – next tower over."

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

"There's corporate me and there's me, and, by God, we both know how to have fun."

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

Randy – you're a male stripper! Senor Stud, ma'am. Don't be a dope. I know it's you. You have me confused with someone else. So this is how you make your money. Does Rudy know? Rudy? I do find the dumb act very sexy. Senor Stud is a Ph.D. In love.

Secret Identity Theft.

'Is that you, Take That?'

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

'Hang on a minute - you're not my husband!'

'Damn, I've forgotten my real name.'

Psychiatry. Every time I try to reinvent myself, I get hit with a patent infringement suit.

"Sorry, I don't work here."

"Ever since he saw the new budget he's been obsessing over the numbers."

Man chooses head from cupboard.

'Didn't I read your last book, find it absolutely disgusting and vow never to read another, or was that someone else?'

'... and then Peter was Mr. McGregor...'

"It's time."

'How would you have played that last ball?'

"It was a simple case of mistaken identity. Nobody's fault – I always carry more than one set of ID."

I Was Married to Banksy.

"My real name's Killer. Fluffy is just my pen name."

To: Rudy Park. From: Lemont Brown. Hey Rudy, it's me. Long time no talk. How are you these days? Lemont? From Berkeley? Tap tap tap tap. Yeah. Man … Putnam Hall 1993. Those were the days. What ever happened to our roommate Ken? Tap tap tap tap tap tap. Divided Airlines. Divided Airlines. You know, that freak who was always writing articles about "news" and junk for the school paper ... That MORON who didn't know a Gameboy from a GameGear ... That big baby whose mommy was always calling to check

Valerie thrived in an internet community that had no idea she was a chicken...

"Just remember, we switch back before we get to town."

'I'm sick of spinning all day long. I wish I was a tailor.'

Man mistakes portable table for a church confessional.

'If I had a nickel for every time I was mistaken for him, I wouldn't have to work. Now, hand over all of your AA batteries.'

I've heard of a man trapped in a woman's body, but

"Your greatest symphonies will be immortalized in carpet cleaning and dog food commercials."

'Looked just like a big, white bird to me, but then these ol' eyes ain't what they used to be!'

'Harold's found his inner-child. On the internet he's a sixteen year old cheerleader named 'Minky'.'

'No. I thought it was the marathon, but it's just a fast moving queue.'