Identity Swapping Fantasizer Gifts

'If you steal my identity, you'll be stuck with a lot of credit card debt.'

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

"I'm Rapunzel. You want Juliet – next tower over."

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

"There's corporate me and there's me, and, by God, we both know how to have fun."

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

'Is that you, Take That?'

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

"Ever since he saw the new budget he's been obsessing over the numbers."

"Sorry, I don't work here."

'Damn, I've forgotten my real name.'

'Hang on a minute - you're not my husband!'

Man chooses head from cupboard.

'Didn't I read your last book, find it absolutely disgusting and vow never to read another, or was that someone else?'

'... and then Peter was Mr. McGregor...'

'How would you have played that last ball?'

"It was a simple case of mistaken identity. Nobody's fault – I always carry more than one set of ID."

"My real name's Killer. Fluffy is just my pen name."

I Was Married to Banksy.

Valerie thrived in an internet community that had no idea she was a chicken...

"Just remember, we switch back before we get to town."

'I'm sick of spinning all day long. I wish I was a tailor.'

Man mistakes portable table for a church confessional.

"Your greatest symphonies will be immortalized in carpet cleaning and dog food commercials."

'Looked just like a big, white bird to me, but then these ol' eyes ain't what they used to be!'

'If I had a nickel for every time I was mistaken for him, I wouldn't have to work. Now, hand over all of your AA batteries.'

'Harold's found his inner-child. On the internet he's a sixteen year old cheerleader named 'Minky'.'

'Remember, son, in this great land of ours you can grow up to be any gender you want to be.'

'So, you'd like to change your name from John to David?... Okay, that shouldn't be a problem Mr. Plonker.'