Identity Swap Lover Gifts

"It was a simple case of mistaken identity. Nobody's fault – I always carry more than one set of ID."

The American Tearoom, Moscow

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

"A guy in 'recovery' wants to buy your slippers."

Secret Identity Theft.

Randy – you're a male stripper! Senor Stud, ma'am. Don't be a dope. I know it's you. You have me confused with someone else. So this is how you make your money. Does Rudy know? Rudy? I do find the dumb act very sexy. Senor Stud is a Ph.D. In love.

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

'Damn, I've forgotten my real name.'

'I'm coping.'

"I'll tell you my gender if you tell me yours."

The Mr. Bates we know and love isn't in but you may speak with his doppelganger.

Psychiatry. Every time I try to reinvent myself, I get hit with a patent infringement suit.

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"

'Sure, I can reprogram your microchip if you want to change your identity...'

'Sir, we need your passport, driver's license, and Facebook name!'

"Actually those missing four yeas I was working here under a different name."

'He needs a domain name.'

"Which one of us is me?"

'How would you have played that last ball?'

Frankenstein "Damn it! Not another ethic origin questionaire"

'What a coincedence! I actually have an identical twin brother who has the same name as you.' - 'No kidding? I have one who has the same name as you!'

Millennial

"My real name's Killer. Fluffy is just my pen name."

I Was Married to Banksy.

Name

Valerie thrived in an internet community that had no idea she was a chicken...

'I love how you're not like everyone else. Oh, sorry, I thought you were my wife.'

'I'm not a hawk or a dove. I'm a dog!'

"I was born a doughboy but I identify as a crescent roll."

'Yes, I sold my soul...but what could I do? They held all the papers!'

"Does this count as photo I.D.?"

'He's really into comic books.'