Identity Swapper Gifts

'How would you have played that last ball?'

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

'I'm sorry. I probably should have talked to to you before I took down our wedding photo and put up a picture of my jet.'

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

Wha about trying another antivirus?

A dragon relaxing in a chair staring at a taxidermy knight's head above his fireplace.

Avoid Constant Borrowing

'I'm coping.'

'Damn, I've forgotten my real name.'

'Sure, I can reprogram your microchip if you want to change your identity...'

"Actually those missing four yeas I was working here under a different name."

"It was a simple case of mistaken identity. Nobody's fault – I always carry more than one set of ID."

"This is so much better than book club."

"My real name's Killer. Fluffy is just my pen name."

'Yes, I sold my soul...but what could I do? They held all the papers!'

'Higgins??! My gosh, someone has stolen your identity!!

Identity theft lineup.

TELLER, 'I want to transfer my account to this bank -- you wouldn't believe how uptight my LAST bank was!'

"I think the tags got switched on our presents."

'If you steal my identity, you'll be stuck with a lot of credit card debt.'

'Would that make you feel better?'

'Trade you my Clark contract for your Dickenson file.'

The doctor and the mechanic barter

'Harold's found his inner-child. On the internet he's a sixteen year old cheerleader named 'Minky'.'

'So, you'd like to change your name from John to David?... Okay, that shouldn't be a problem Mr. Plonker.'

"Hey, make sure you don't forget - you're no longer Eddy Wurster from Dover... you're Ben Fishkopp from Bath!"

'Remember, son, in this great land of ours you can grow up to be any gender you want to be.'

'Hello. I'm Willy. Tommy and I have exchanged homes.'