Life Swapper Gifts

'I'm coping.'

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

That lovely summer day, Little Red Riding Hood decided to deviate from the script.

'I'm sorry. I probably should have talked to to you before I took down our wedding photo and put up a picture of my jet.'

The American Tearoom, Moscow

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

Wha about trying another antivirus?

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

"How?"

"'Kchow! Kchow! The roscoe spoke twice, and Mike dodged behind a-' Hang on, wrong book."

A dragon relaxing in a chair staring at a taxidermy knight's head above his fireplace.

'I traded a motherboard for three DVD's. They were bogus, so I tossed them out the window....'

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

"Excuse me, but I think you're in my seat."

"To be honest, it was a matter of finding something to do after I gave up alcohol."

'Look what the ice cream man gave me for your iPhone!'

"I hear that march is coming in like a lineman and out like a lamb...I just wanted to be prepared."

"I'm ready to switch"

'We'll leave the corn alone if you never tell that dumb story about Dorothy and Toto again.'

'I think sugar substitutes are fattening. Have you noticed that people who use them are usually overweight?'

'How would you have played that last ball?'

Mr. Maynard, had you heard that Sean Hannity is coming to the Civic Auditorium? Naturally. I have two tickets to his speech. Would you like to join me? Would you like me to join you? Of course. That's why I asked. Good, then my ticket will be free. Well played, stingy entrepreneur. You're kind to notice.

'Please put down that photo of Cindy Crawford, ma'am.'

'I'm doing a 'pet swap'.'

Person shovelling snow remembering the past

'Yes, I sold my soul...but what could I do? They held all the papers!'

We'll drive to Chicago, change cars, drive to Atlanta, change cars, drive to St. Louis, change cars, then we'll drive to Orlando. Car trips with airline managers.

"Say - this electronic bourbon isn't bad."

"I think the tags got switched on our presents."

"I always enjoy our talks."

'Would that make you feel better?'

'Once a giant white whale took away your leg? Pah, that's nothing! Once a seagull come down on me like a bolt from the blue and WHOOOSH!- there goes my fish sandwich!'

The doctor and the mechanic barter

'So, you'd like to change your name from John to David?... Okay, that shouldn't be a problem Mr. Plonker.'