Soul Swapper Gifts

'Yes, I sold my soul...but what could I do? They held all the papers!'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

Christian and Born again Christian...

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

That lovely summer day, Little Red Riding Hood decided to deviate from the script.

"I haven't felt that overwhelming urge to create, but then again I haven't felt much of anything lately."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

The American Tearoom, Moscow

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

Existential Risk

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

The Anti-Materialist

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

"Spent the first five years in Hell. I didn't sell my soul, I leased it."

Wha about trying another antivirus?

'Don't look upon me as a priest, look upon me as your personal 'After Life Coach.''

'It's not considered good form to brag about extinguishing your ego.'

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

"How?"

"The meaning of life at a glance"

"Yeah, well, we've all got baggage."

"Satan's on the line, sir. He says the soul you sent doesn't look like the one in the ad."

This isn't a good time to see him --- He just got outbid for a soul on eBay. Beelzebub.

"'Kchow! Kchow! The roscoe spoke twice, and Mike dodged behind a-' Hang on, wrong book."

"I can be perfect for only one hour a day."

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."

"I'm competitive,cruel,glad when my friends fail...I've no idea why I'm here."

A dragon relaxing in a chair staring at a taxidermy knight's head above his fireplace.

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"You'll find it's lonely at the top."

'I traded a motherboard for three DVD's. They were bogus, so I tossed them out the window....'

'Maybe you just weren't cut out for enlightenment.'